Reddit breakup with the one. It was starting to effect the relationship, so I ended it.

Reddit breakup with the one ” — Seneca. She never spoke to me again. Also, I don't feel like being in a serious relationship currently. It’s been over two years since my break up and just like you, every now and then I find myself talking to my ex in my mind, I knew her so much that I can have proper conversations with her in my mind, but just as you said, it’s mostly the good memories that come to mind and I have to force myself to think lmao, my one and only breakup i remember telling myself ‘i have to get out’. So let them be and let them go. I did this after the breakup and because the guy slept at her place for 2 weeks. You have no idea how every single word you wrote how it resonates with me. I am here now. I'm just dissapointed that it took a breakup as a wake up call. I am on break up 7 from the same guy! All 6 times, he came back (after him being the one to leave). My boyfriend broke up with me right after Valentine's Day. Now we are married lol. At the time I thought she was telling me I’d work through it and find my Autumn, but upon reflection I think she was telling me that I was naive and destined to i has a messy break up in august 2020 - we had just renewed the lease in june so there were over 10 months left. My ex and I broke up late June and we would’ve been 3 years in late August. Totally. But one thing to remember is that however bad you’re feeling about your choices- he is feeling and felt worse. It protects the good memories and allows you to one day look back on them fondly, instead of letting it get to the point where you actually hate each other by staying together. Two broken hearts that cares deeply about each other but wasn’t meant to be together. Instead I'm stuck feeling like I was truly an unbearable burden and that no one would love me in the state I'm in. Of course thoughts come across my Mind that make me very sad, and I too am finding myself in bed often, but trying to do one activity every morning for a few hours and one in afternoon has helped me immensely so far. . But we couldnt let go, still texted every day and we still saw each other. ETA: I’m seeing a lot of responses saying that people are retroactively trying to change their interpretations of Taylor’s music to fit the breakup. There was one person I'd been crushing on for like a year before I even broke up with my BF, but I kept it to myself and didn't engage the guy, or even get his number, until months after I'd broken up with my ex. Every therapist said that I should talk to her about it/just break up, because her feelings are ultimately not my responsibility. So did the next 'one'. It probably did not make the break up easier for us, but it sure is nice to still be able to talk to one another sometimes. Then figure out if the reason is something that could be fixed. So I recently had a full on mental breakdown after a breakup. We went completely non contact from the start. One thing you said in this concerns me, because it seems like you think you "deserve"' this treatment, or that there's something in you that draws in So, for me, friends aren’t always the best. The problem is that I don't know how to initiate a bearable break up with my emotionally not so stable girlfriend, because I'm too afraid to harm her or send her in a depressive episode. I made it to one week before I couldn't stand it anymore. You don’t beg for no one, you are amazing and as you begin your journey of self love you will realize that! 2 years ago my breakup happened with my first love, who I dated for a year and four months at 18 years old, and I’m okay now. I have no desire to date anymore. I didn't expect all these comments and just logged on to read all of them. Eventually you will no longer be a part of eachother lives its better to start now rather than prolong it. She understood me and I understood her, but I never shook the "this isn't how I want to live the rest of my life" feeling over the 2. Remember no one is perfect and everyone can change for the better (again I don’t know the reason) Or 2. Every disappointment is for a higher appointment, so just try to see things that way but good luck its hard. This is pretty much the same story as mine. It’s almost like the one that got away kinda feeling. We've been together 9 years and 2 kids. He told me that if I didnt't break up with him, he probably wouldn't have realized how much he dislikes himself and how many things he wants to change. The sooner and CLEANER you break up, the better. So the big deal breakers which, of course, justify leaving someone, are off the table already. Her reasoning: "Loyalty means everything" By the way my boyfriend of the time He's my husband. i was told i wasn’t allowed to leave, so i basically pissed him off enough for him to say ‘this is what you wanted right? i’m leaving you. But the will to hold off on trying to talk to her with get stronger as time goes by. I was totally shocked and blindsided too. Bean, James Acaster's Cold Lasagne Hate Myself can be surprisingly insightful, to name one. Listen to You should Google how often the average male thinks about sex. I'm happy for him that he is taking steps to work on himself and I'm trying to do the same. This female friend claimed her BF never looked at porn. Edit: I want to add that in a psychology class I learned that people who are in long distance relationships who finally get to live in the same city/ see each other more often because they’re in close proximity, take an average of 3 months to break up if they’re going to break up. There is no breakup explanation that’s going to feel satisfying. Share When I finally said "enough, I'm out", she told me she thought I was going to be the one, leaving me even more confused that a girl could both think that, and not want to be after the break up, i decided na maging single muna until i find someone who’s worth fighting for. What does this do to your witness? My worst break up left me with trust issues due to cheating. Fast forward and Ive been married to my wife for 20 years, still wildly in love with her and cant imagine life without her. It doesn't feel like it at first but things will get easier. 5 years with who I thought was the person(27F) I was going to marry. true. She obviously wasnt the one. So trust in Like sure you can be honest about your anxieties to people, but some details are better left for later in a relationship to make sure no one preys on the information you share. In my last one I said “I’m wondering if we need to redefine our relationship” for goodness sakes. Things can almost always be resolved when abuse isn’t involved and you WANT to grow and change. I had a good friend (at least I thought so at the time) break up with her boyfriend and wanted me to break up with my new boyfriend at the time. Shes my everything. Day 3, she broke up with me over text. And we dated for 1y half. We both loved each other very much and talked about spending the rest of our lives together. it’s definitely doable amicably, but it’s difficult. As classes started I saw her again and my heart was killing me, I wanted to run over and hug her. No other explanation for it really. I don't want to be the best thing to ever happen to her, I want her to find more happiness. I also don't recommend telling your friend they "should go for it," immediately after the split, no matter how obvious you think the joke is. We fight, i broke up because of this. I believe now that 'the one' is a myth, whats real is building a life with someone and having your souls grow together. She apologised, explained and promised that it'll never happen again. FOMO is common. One day, I didn’t text her for about a week and she suddenly got mad at me and asked me to break up. I’m wasn’t going to go back and watch him message whoever and insult me in the most passive, narcissistic way possible. My now exbf was the one person were I could be myself for 100%. I see my best friend in you. If they come back, it will never be the same and you cannot trust that they will not leave again. It is not an instant fix and you must be open about everything. This is not the time to be forgiving. Not properly processing the feelings, emotions and patterns around the breakup. I don't think I will be happy with him, and I realized my actions in trying to change him has been selfish and I should have let him be himself 324 votes, 87 comments. One I'm happy ended, the other one I'm sad about but it was the right thing for both of us. 5 years. I've been flying out to see her every month. I know this comment is from a while ago, but i just want to know how you dealt with your break up? It seems like you two have solid ground and boundaries to see each other so often after the split. I understand that these things also depend on other factors, such as the duration or seriousness of a relationship. Basically made a post about a breakup in another subreddit. I’m not yet in the breakup but there is a potentially one on the horizon and I’m terrified because I don’t have much friends. If you make a laundry list of reasons, then it comes across as accusing. So that said, all remaining "reasons" to break up are rooted in ego. An emotional deformity from a previous relationship might have been the reason I was broken up with. Exactly a year since the "official breakup" but he strung me along for another 7 months giving me all the false hope you can imagine that we'd get back together before blindsiding me with a complete and total discard for someone new. I was almost ready to break up with him but he was the one that did it and it still hurts. They have helped me immensely over time. Clean break ups are difficult if one or the other still have feelings. Just walk away. Personally, I felt the same way after my breakup, I felt I will never find what I had again. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. To them, this has been going on for a very long time. I broke up with my ex girlfriend 2. 5 year journal of me stating I genuinely believed this was it). I don’t wish I hated her but I wish we had to break up under different circumstances. I'm damn lonely and the breakup grief is eating me up. I feel exactly the same. He is bad at initiating and didn't want to break up with me because he loved me and didn't want to hurt me, so I broke up with him for his sake and told him if he changes his mind to let me know. She replied to my snapchats explaining why she was hurt by my breakup, but after that it has been radio silence, we're no longer social media friends, and now she's hitting me with NC. I did the same thing but it was a reversed situation, she was the avoidant, throughout my relationship with her I’d always be the one to try and talk things out and fix things, I’d always be the one apologizing, I kept giving 110% while she slowly drifted further awayone day I told her that I needed a break, hugged her goodbye and left. Breakup without closure is probably the hardest of break ups. Very controlling and demanding and dominating. We were great friends, and that's precisely why the feeling of leaving is very painful. There is no right time when it comes to a break up and it will hurt her feelings but you can do it in a way that isn’t personally attacking her. How to cope with a breakup with “the one” I know it sounds silly but the “if you know, you know” quote is very real. I never want to be this hurt again. because we lived with his best friend, it was understood that i would leave & he would stay. The key to his argument is to be firm and polite. . If the ex is very upset at not getting what he or she wants out of the break up, then they were pretty immature to begin with. Maybe because I’m still not over this breakup but if I have to go through all this all over again with someone else until I meet the one it’s gonna be a no from me, dog. No rationale can take away the pain you feel. She told me that I was the only one for her, and that she wanted me to have her kids one day. See a psychologist regularly. Please help. The other one is already in another relationship” Certainly true in my case. "Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. ” needless to say, I felt played. I was the one dumped. Almost a year has passed and in this time I have lived more than I lived in those 5 years of relationship. We were together for 5 years, known each other for 10. Oftentimes, the sad, mutual breakup is about creating space precisely so that the love doesn’t become completely ruined. 5 months post BU, I’m still working to be a better person both physically and mentally. They basically gave him ultimatums and said that as a family, they would never talk to him again if he stayed with me. Until it gets to the point where they have enough and break up. We go no contact each and every time. I’ve never cheated I’ve only been cheated on, and I am not gonna yell at you like some people in the comments. The one thing I’ve always done is treated each break up as if it was the last (I’ve got a 3. 'The one' broke my heart. The only way out is through, by living through each painful day. The recordings are great because you can listen to one when your feeling down. Just because the initiator is the one on whose terms it ends, and they have time Did you have to make the hardest decision to break up with someone you love but are not compatible with? Did you have any regrets down the line? I have never loved anyone as much Breakups are almost notoriously difficult — and they are made even more difficult when they are with someone you truly thought was, well, "the one. One of you will get hurt and it just drags out the inevitable. I think it’s easier to stomach if we didn’t love each other anymore or one of us just didn’t see that future together. He's just out living his life and just thinking about things we did together makes me want to cry. You gotta figure out what decision brings you the least regret, as you will probably It was a mutual breakup for us. One model for a "deeply troubled, but savable" relationship is intense couples counseling weekly where both people are willing to take the issues and earnestly resolve them in counseling. This is as true for modern men as it is true for modern women, because modern dating is pretty fucked up and has been so for a long time. I broke up with an ex via text and had an ex break up with me via text when I gave her the ok because we didn’t live in the same city at the time and I don’t feel bad now having been broken up It was a really tough breakup, it was one of the toughest conversations I’ve ever had and I still love her so, so much. Additionally my friends reminding me that the future is a landscape no one knows yet - some older people they know broke up with their partners once or even multiple times and are now happily married, some met someone even more compatible after a really traumatic break up, some stayed single and - looking at their exes' paths now - are glad in Exactly that happened to me with one girl was I dating , I realised she wasn’t for me and within a few days. I've been seeing a girl for one month, but I don't want to continue dating her. Even though I have tough days, I've grown so The vague reason for the breakup is that I realized, over one year, someone I do not want to spend the rest of my life with. We had more than 2. I have a very strong determination and did everything I could to make it work that’s why it lasted so long between us. Sometimes I’m still sad about that break up maybe because I have regrets or it was my first one but I have fully moved on and I’m happy with where I’m at now. He wasn't satisfied with the relationship and it was in some abstract and intangible way. Usually(not always) if you got to the point of wanting to break up with someone and decided to do it, particularly after a long period of back and forth deliberation and weighing if it was the right decision—the breaking up was 100% the right decision. I had a break up 8 months back ,but me and my ex kept it low key and kept talking. If one still thinks that they "love" someone despite experiencing an abusive or dishonest partner, they're not "loving" but rather prone to a pretty unhealthy dependency. Simply because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just rebounding and getting slutty sex out of my system (using 'slut' positively, of course!). It created all sorts of problems and in retrospect I regret it even more than I did at the time. Unfortunately, there is no real way to speed up the recovery process. There's no way to mitigate the trauma of loving a pwBPD. Breakup text - Is this a good one? Talked (28f) yesterday with my 4 months boyfriend (32m) about relationships. Hey! My life really changed for the better since the break up! The pain did hit harder eventually but it helped me process it properly. You can use that time to stew in your feelings and drink, or you can make productive use of that time. I loved her family, and they loved me back. You either need to break up or you need to get into counseling and work to overcome your incompatibilities. You MUST take advantage of these moments of clarity. My most significant which was my most recent ended on good terms and I have great respect for my ex. Regardless of the outcome, the codependent is in for a lot of emotional pain after a breakup. If you break up with her, then you must accept you are losing the relationship forever. Do not ignore your emotions, but equally, do not indulge in them. When I went through a horrible break up, I felt like I was in a deep, deep pit of despair. Additionally, there is not much things to do in my city especially during the summer and financially wise I can’t afford many things now (like going out and finding new hobbies outside of my apartment). I didn’t wanted it to end, but here we My first break up felt catastrophic. My breakup came out of i get you, not that my ex changed drastically but she became even more extroverted, i know her as that little quiet girl that everyone sometimes forget, now everyone just talks to her or about her. Never saw any of them again after the breakup and I still miss them, even ten years later. But it doesn't work that way, grief after a breakup comes in waves these feelings come and go. One day at a time. also, breaking up doesn't mean never talking to someone again, you could remain friends, but a breakup could be caused if one of the people involved needed some space for personal growth or if something was making one of them uncomfortable, having a mature conversation can be a successful breakup There’s not really a way to make break up speeches not sound cheesy or hurtful. This journey has taught me a lot about relationships, self-worth, and personal growth. That actually is my point of view. Usually breaks end up to the inevitable break up, obviously I cant say all the time, sometimes they work for space. I’m just scared if I break up with this great guy I’ll never find a good guy like every other person (this is my first boyfriend) and would I want to risk being with a happy guy I don’t love than go out to find the one I’ll hopefully love and end up sad and lonely? I’m just confused. Even now, it's difficult to explain exactly the reasons that made me break up, but I have a deep feeling that I did the right thing. I think a better way to look at a breakup is similar to that of death of a friend. I tried to let it go. Just take your time and think about all the negative aspects that came with being in a relationship with your ex. I recently lost a gf of 2 years who I considered to be the one for many Me and my girlfriend broke up in April and honestly it's the best thing that could have happened to both of us. Saw this quote today and it’s so true - “After a breakup the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. He has been throwing other attacks at you to lull you into thinking you can tell the difference and has now hit you with this one. I am working fully remote and I literally don't have any friends in this city I stay, so if God forbid something happens to me inside my apartment, no one will know. For example, you watch a movie and you think your SO might like it, so you say "Hey, check out X, it's your sort of movie". I mean fucked up, falling down drunk/high, suicidal, losing my absolute fucking shit mental breakdown. One that you've never had before. 6 months ago I broke up with 'the one' for me, rather she broke up with me. Focusing on myself gave me a purpose, and helped pass the time so that I could gain distance and heal. God didn’t lead you to her to break up with her 3 months later, before anything actually happened. It’s been devastating and heart shattering. Day 2, she told me how much she’s been suffering alone because she felt “I didnt love her”. Some people never fall in love, some fall in love many times. Her mental health has worsened horribly over the past 6 months (she attributes this to uncovering repressed memories of sexual abuse from her childhood) and She forced me to break up, I didn't really have a choice. The day we met, we both felt like we had known each other forever. we kept light contact up until the end of august during that time, we were expressing how we still loved each other and checking in on one another every now and then, we went no contact in early September and recently i found out she moved on in To get over a breakup, you need to change your way of thinking. 13 ) If you do ask for a break, make the return from the break contingent on having a specific plan to improve the things that are wrong. Simply because of the reason: "I don't want to marry you. You gotta figure out what decision brings you the least regret, as you will probably have some kind of regret either way for either decision. " I may be projecting so take my words with a grain of salt. In my personal example, my GF asked one of our friends, a female who had crashed with us about her BF watching porn. Day 5 or 6 she broke up with me and blocked me on FB and other SNS. After 2 years we are both still crazy in love but notice that we My girlfriend cheated on me for half our relationship, and am looking for good movies to help me, and help me regain faith again. Looking for a breakup movie that men would also enjoy, prefer it to have the female protagonist cheat, or just have good metaphorical meaning to the movie. Amen! I was exactly in the same situation than you but 12 years relationship. We both wanted things the other wasn’t going to bend on. But it eats you alive. Amicable break up. I would suggest telling her that you have been unhappy and that you feel like it isn’t going to work. I cherished him so much. It was a tough breakup, and was a start to my hoe phase :3 My second relationship (i was 21 and spineless), was very toxic from the start. To you the break up feels completely random and out of nowhere. And I didn't want to. i don't know if it's about the break up but she hangs out with even more boys now and now plays a shooter game but . It wasn't even a proper breakup, he withdrew from me gradually, all our conversations became one sided, and i started to seem annoying and nagging to him. I don’t know why she wanted break up with me. All I can say is every relationship you have will end until you find that special one where inspite of everything it just works. I have talked to him since. Wow. You worded this so beautifully. We still loved each other, but agreed that we had to break up. I exercised and spent a lot of time trying to find inner happiness. I genuinely felt like I was going to die of loneliness and heartbreak, but I can promise you that it gets better!!! I felt really lonely, but I turned to Reddit, Tiktok, video games. one thing i also liked the most is definitely sleeping peacefully at night without I'm scared that she wouldn't land on her feet and wouldn't process this break up easily. It’s good to know it has absolutely nothing to do with you. She is someone who has been with me for years, and we have always respected and loved each other. I gathered my thoughts and clearly thought about it and broke up her cos I didn’t find the relationship meaningful anymore ( it was only 2months) and didn’t see her as a long term partner. It was starting to effect the relationship, so I ended it. " It was honestly the best relationship I've ever had. Our lives were incompatible. i mean i guess i just didn't see her change the last months we're together. I mean with an Ex you share a special time together, a good time. Some people might decide a couple weeks no contact but no dating other people. You simply need to get over it. For context, what happened was: we've met online, and she is super shy and anxious, we started to have feelings for one another (she said that to me aswell), but we haven't met in person, because she had a nervous breakdown both times we tried, so we decided to give it more time so she could be more comfortable with the ideia (it has been a OP said that he “wasn’t very pleasant to be around. If that’s you, keep reading. well if you just decide that it isn't working out as mature individuals. I had NO idea what is her life is about right now, I just felt that I had to, because, well, no be honest I wasn't sure that I could make it all alive and I just wanted to be sure that a person I loved and cared for from the bottom of my heart knows that My most recent break-up was one of the hardest I ever had to do. And she needs to also see those things as problems and be willing to meet you halfway on working them out. It started with the one big issue I This can be a subtle one, but I have noticed it in almost every breakup I've had. Love is a complex emotion. Write down what your thinking, make a list of reasons why the breakup makes sense and is actually a good thing, make a recording on your phone or computer of you telling yourself all these things. I still remember that. When you break up a relationship, you now have much more of one thing than you ever have before, and that's time. Talk about it with your friends, but make sure you don't get stuck in Men/Males of Reddit: What is the worst break-up you've experienced thus far? Archived post. I remember after one breakup I was confiding in one of my friends, and she kept bringing up the movie. I felt she was still perfect and I cried about it a lot. Just don't overthink it and carry on as you are. I'm thankful everyday that the relationship we had didn't work out. Dumped my ex, regretted it, tried to reach out with a few calls/texts. Over time I learned that relationships are a learning process. I usually get on YouTube or Reddit and look up basic shit like, “How to get over a heartbreak” or get on subreddits like this. both were turbulent during the breakup but we pushed through with the mutual assurance that we are important to eachother and both have remained good friends, one is my best friend still. Any platform where people have conversations. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. This is not a happy relationship that is meeting your needs as it is, and everyone deserves to have that. Just dont be one of those 40 year old women on reddit who post and ask if there's any hope of them settling down and not realising that they were the problem all along. But I was severely depressed, I wouldn’t eat and all I did was lie in bed feeling like everything was my I (26M) had been in a relationship for about 1. We're still friends The much harder breakup in my case is the one I initiated, but it was a much longer and closer relationship. Most of our friends were his cousins and his grandparents treated me like I was one of them. I HAD to break up. We were together for 3 years, all through highschool. Sometimes the cheater feels so sorry for themselves that it can make it sting more for the one who was cheated on. I did think it was weird he kept telling me how comfortable and happy he was with me yet he dropped me the next day telling me he felt from his gut that I wasnt the “the one” and being together would be wasting his time until he finds her. I upped my medication dosage after I began to have panic attacks. " Fortunately, it's possible to get over Figure out the exact reason to why you want to break up (there can be an infinite amount of reasons). Break up, and take a long, long break from each other. Me breaking up wasn't a choice. I stated I feel we need to talk more (during lockdown we are barely talking). I lost my best friend and partner overnight. It very much is dependent on why you broke up in the first place. No matter what you plant in your mind the reason is, it will only boil to one reason: they don't want you and they think they can do better than you. If you met "the one" and you two broke up, what happened after? A girl like that just broke up with me and I don't know how to move on. I bothered every single one of my friends every day. There's a reason a ton of artists, singers, etc have done their best work after a breakup. One of the most heartbreaking parts of my breakup was accepting that my ex and I had a fixable issue but she didn’t want to fix it and didn’t think I was worth it. So after the break up you stay busy and try to keep you mind off of things. I guess I'm still having one, but today is a better day and I wanted to offer some advice. And sometimes she texted me. If you struggled with codependency, fear of abandonment, and/or being left for mr. The longest we have gone is 16 weeks. There's plenty of woman out there all with different looks/personality's and yes you may have thought she was the one looks wise etc but she wasnt into you. knew myself better, got a side hustle, my grades became higher, became closer to my family, and met new friends along the way. I've just made the decision to break up with her because we're just not working towards the same goals in life and I don't see the distance going away any time soon. Just remember : breakups are hard and they suck and there is NEVER a good breakup. Temperance, in your thoughts and behaviour. When enduring trauma and suffering, such as a break-up, set yourself towards finding a balance. I'm (20F) recovering from a breakup with my ex-boyfriend (20M) who was DX, not medicated. I appreciate every single one, the differing opinions and the experiences. Goodness knows I've broken up with a woman who I wasn't physically attracted to and gave every reason but that one I also want to add one point. Here’s a recap of my story and the advice I’ve received along the way. The sudden breakup came 2 weeks prior to that (I had asked for a chance of 2 weeks of a break after the sudden breakup to see if he wanted to give it another shot - he didn’t). However, it is super lonely when you literally have no one to go out to eat with or shop with, etc. It’s not your job to “fix” him to be less sexist, honestly men like him do not change and they only get worse with age. Because a lot of people today lack the patience and the power to heal themselves. ” it lasted a month, and it ended with a simple text from him and nothing else: “I think we should break up. I recently lost a gf of 2 years who I considered to be the one for many reasons, main one being how we met was so coincidental that it sounds like it was from a fairytale. Is it possible to break up with someone and still be considered a nice guy? Most of the time you hear stories like “I just got dumped” and despite the reasons, the one initiating is naturally labelled as the jerk. At night I try to plan out my tmmrw- find a show to lose myself in for a little- and get a good nights sleep. So, I’m very sorry. Making break-up playlists with songs that capture your emotions about the whole thing can be good, but as with the previous point, don't wallow in it. Write a list of the reasons for your break up, and don't be forgiving. For the next three days I texted her about 15 times that I love her and how we shouldnt break up. If necessary, take antidepressant medication. This is valid, but I’ve been very vocal about red flags in Lover/Midnights/the Lavender Haze music video for way longer than the breakup rumors have existed, so that is not applicable here. It helped finally get me to see a therapist. Be gentle and patient with yourself. He did reach out 3 weeks from break up just to check in but I just ignored it because I had no intention to wanting to prolong my healing and get caught up in loopy chatter just to be nice. The breakup itself is another topic, but what genuinely came to me as a surprise is how many people are willing to break up/get broken up with over phone or even by texting. I am now close to 3 months no contact which I started immediately. i planned a whole day ahead getting people that he was able to use to contact me to not respond to his messages. You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one. Others might decide to date other people and re access if they want to be together in a month. It felt like letting go would somehow diminish the specialness of what I had. The breakup was for both of our own goods because she had to start focusing on herself and grad school. I really wish that he had defended me and our relationship, or at least had the decency to break up with me in person. Hey Reddit, I wanted to share my experience with a challenging breakup and how I've been navigating through the aftermath. They break up with you because they aren’t happy inside in the relationship and it seeps to the surface enough for them to realize that you no longer make them happy anymore. don’t ever contact me again’ usually after this he After that much time I have decided that she's not the one for me. 211 votes, 84 comments. I love him a lot still but I feel we’re growing at different rates and he has been unable to reciprocate the vulnerability and intimacy I desire. I was devastated for a long time, and by a long time I mean Day 1, she told me how much she misses me. We have a call scheduled for later today, but I did not tell her why. It's hard to get over any breakup — let alone one with a person you thought you would be with forever. Anyway, I texted her first every day. I choose to make the breakup I've gone through to be a more positive life experience in the aftermath. EDIT: Ok everyone, I think there's a misunderstanding If you break up with her, then you must accept you are losing the relationship forever. " "Every love gone wrong is one step closer to your own true love. Take care of yourself, no one is (or should) be doing that for you. You won't really notice that happening but one day you'll wake up and you won't cry for a day, then one day you'll realise you haven't thought about your ex in a few days, then one day you'll feel a bit more excited about the future it's a gradual process. especially when you love someone deeply but know it isn’t working And one day last October I was in the darkest place due to my current breakup (which is why I'm here now) and I decided to reach out. I wasn't going to kid myself. It is a great and fairly realistic depiction of a break up. How can I gently let her know to expect a serious conversation/breakup so she is not shocked/caught off guard? I’m not always big on face to face hard conversations and think it’s better to avoid it. ut here's how people I think most people's response to a breakup is slightly misplaced. Your job, right now, is to figure out how to fill that time. Try where possible, and it is far easier said than done, to take the positives from the relationship. There isnt just one way to do it. We usually text everyday. We just signed a one year lease together, and she threatens suicide every time I try to leave. I get it, honestly I do. Since that's the only way out, it's advisable to start addressing one's mental health to prevent falling into the same trap again. I thought it was going to work out for some reason; our last rendezvous felt promising. Well, with the benefit of hindsight that's all BS of course. We all say stuff when we break up. 5 months ago and at the beginning, still a little bit, I really miss her and what we had, even though I’m the one that ended it. I (22M) just had my first breakup ever, and I don’t know how people go through this more than once. Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person. Sure In my case it wasn’t a messy break up. my life definitely improved. No wonder he leapt for the metaphorical door. I said no. 5 years we dated. Yes you can definitely break up with someone over those types of beliefs. During covid, had to long distance relationship. That relationship ran on a little longer than it should have simply because I didn't want to lose that family. Imagine having kids and he’s spewing that garbage to his son or worse his daughter. Because, while they are extremely painful, they can be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Suddenly, you have self drive. I'd like to hear your guys Wow this describes my ex to a T Thank you for sharing. It was a very happy comfortable relationship and How to cope with a breakup with “the one” I know it sounds silly but the “if you know, you know” quote is very real. There's no reason why there should be just one person you can ever love or are capable of loving, that's a purely fictional If you cannot do this, counter one weakness with another, and temper your fear with hope. because it was messy, i had difficulty getting my things back though he indicated it always felt like my ghost was in the apartment. The grass is greenest where you water it. You don’t have to go through this alone i wish i knew that before i agreed when my ex told me that we should go on a “break. If the break-up wasn't completly horrible then this time still is worth something and not something you need to forget. I realized I never felt safe with my ex. And I did believe her. Sometimes I genuinely feel that is the best course of action, when I found the hoard I explained to him I was disturbed but how unhealthy it was (hes now just moved the box to the attic or somewhere) but he just made out that I was 'Walking out' and 'giving up' on him over some pictures. Which is how I know one thing: You will absolutely come back from this IF you're willing to do the work. Like I was never going to recover and would never love again. she had every right to breakup with me” No one knows what he really did with saying “wasn’t very pleasant to be around” but assuming that the gf just left because he was going through something for a difficult time is wrong. My boyfriend and I talked all night long, woke up and talked all day long again. I just can’t comprehend I knew he was the one even as I was breaking up with him. Putting it off or trying to wait for the right time won't do anyone any favors. I'm also a big believer that once you break up, just stop being friends This is much harder to pull off if one of your best friends starts dating them almost immediately after. I feel horrible seeing where my life is right now, that I don't even have a single person I could see and talk to. Day 1, she told me how much she misses me. So either you were not listening then or you are not listening now. we were together for 5 years & he ended up Yeah I’m already past him, now dealing with a breakup that’s more difficult than the last one. I knew my rights as a tenant after calling social services but I had too much pride to go back. You should have an honest and open conversion with HIM and come to an understanding and not Reddit. I see one weekly. Keep that list with yourself long after break up and whenever you felt like you are getting weak and you want to call them or see them read the list to remind yourself why you broke up in the first place. I’ve only had break up sex with one person; my first love in my early 20s. Sometimes it's platitudes to spare the other person's feelings (really to make us feel better about breaking up with them) and sometimes it's just stuff you say. yes, both long term relationships. But it’s just really awful and sad and honestly traumatizing because I didn’t think there was a world in which we’d break up any time soon. We have talked post breakup in order to get the clarity I need, which has been helpful. There are rarely happy endings and there are usually a lot of regrets on behalf of one or both parties. That breakup made me realize that I need to better understand myself and my own needs and wants. I don't regret either. Now I've been happily married for 10 years with 2 kids. But I dug deep within my mind and realized that well she’s not perfect. Emotions run high and the fallout 2 weeks afterward are like walking in a haze. It's not something that you get over but it's something that you will learn to live with. Trying to rationalize that maybe someone would have helped me through my emotional troubles, but it's really hard to believe. I'm in an 8 year relationship that turned long distance a few years ago. The sole fact that you even broke up at all increases the likelihood of it happening again if you get back together, so you need to have a really good reason to get back that defeats that likelihood. Sometimes people move on. I’m the same!! The weeks leading up to our breakup he was telling me he had told all his friends I was the one, that he knew we were just ‘right’, that he wanted us to move in together, that we were so lucky to have each other, he never imagined caring for someone as deeply as he cared for me, etc. I honestly think the first month after a They continue to stay however long, weeks, months, even years still hoping in the back of their mind that you will change. Literally up to the morning of the day we broke up everything What’s it like to break up (29f) with someone you love? 5 year long relationship, we live together. When I say everything I mean everything. Both have ended. I’m often left feeling exposed and ignored. 8 year relationship, then she started monkeybranching to someone else right in front of me. Went out , tried to distract myself with other women. After i told her i saw other women she wanted to breakup but we still couldn’t let go. Break up with him and be honest about why. But eventually even if I loved him like crazy, this break up was the best decision of my life and I’m so much happier in my life now You think they were perfect and no one is like that. So my worst ever break up in a way was around 6 or 7 years ago, she cheated on me on a night out, then rang me in the morning crying telling me about it then when I went to see her she alluded that she had woken up didn’t know where she was who who they guy was and she was pass out drunk etc (basically saying she had been raped). You’re basically in a state where you’re still really familiar with her presence, and the idea of not talking to her doesn’t make sense. Political and ideological beliefs MATTER. Don't sit there and go back and forth after breaking up. Because at first I tried to forgive her. I don’t want to get into the specifics of the breakup but I can say that we left things without resentment, but rather an understanding that we could not give each other what we needed out of a relationship. When I went up to her just to chat and clear things up she starting moving away from me as if I was repulsive to her, she completely ignored me. So don’t search for one, don’t wait for one, just accept the one you were offered or make up one yourself and then put the question to rest, Obviously not my first break up but this one still hurts. She became incredibly toxic, including the whole arsenal of emotional abuse, but she wouldn't end it herself. One effective way of doing this that has been scientifically proven to work, is to sit down and think about all the negative aspects of your ex. Im currently going through a break up of a relationship of 3 years and 5 months and its the worst feeling in the entire planet. Intentions do matter. I felt this exact way for three full weeks after my break-up. The only one that did not agree with this was his mother, but she will never go against her husband. And despite me being the one saving him from eviction Im the one that ended up homeless. It's been absolutely crazy, emotions have been all over the place (as is expected in breakups) and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on recovery. xdtf moijcl bwwp scm itdzaxsa vwcjnh krxtpi ndht tvk oci